Where Are You Going?

Jut how long does it take?

Time shrinks and time accelerates

Just how long is this road?

You're so eager to put down this load

It's been four years since the skies went up in flames

Four years since things has never been the same

You've been struggling in the last three

And has since been avoiding the melee

In two you've been hopping from one to another

And in between you say your prayers

Coz it surely has been long since you've been at your best

You don't even know if you've been passing the test

How do you find things when they've been long gone?

And now has to start back at one

As surely as the sun rose on those days

And you woke basking in its rays

Now you only have trickling water

A little step back and life will be in the gutter

It seems today only gray skies are your company

As you work out the best remedy

When the options are confusing

You ask yourself what you are even doing

Do the pink hues in the sky mean hope?

If it isn't, how do you cope?

Do taxes only nowadays toll

When your life has not even begun to unroll

Where is this road going?

And will it help for us to be knowing?

Some has asked for your hand in marriage

And now you wonder when you'll have the courage

They let you be just as you have left them

Unable to purchase a precious gem

Some you deliberately scared away

Not even hearing what they had to say

Still licking your own wounds and scars

Their way to your heart has since been barred

But it's been eighteen months since you made a vow

But till now you do not know how

You do cherish his admiration

But cannot shirk away from both your obligations

And now you wonder if he is waiting

For the end of the thousand days you have undertaken.

On Becoming More and More Busy....

I'm riding on a hill,

Falling on a runaway coaster,

Living in a dream,

I haven't figured it out just yet,

but one thing I know,

Things will never be the same,

it would be for the better.

I don't know yet what possessed me,

Why I've made a decision lead me,

What has to be done seems to be

The thing I'll always unravel bit by bit,

yet, it' s fun not knowing exactly what,

because I know,

Life will be and never was,

And you just sit right on top of it

make yourself free and exhilarated,

spontaneous and wild,

a free spirit till the end.

guiuan, eastern samar

This was from a recent trip to Guiuan, Eastern Samar. The beach is so clear you could see the stones and sand at the bottom of the water.

My classmates were egging me to swim with them but I did not give in. I was feeling too wired to do anything. Notice the frown? Well, it was not really a frown. The sky was overcast but the sun still sent glaring rays, that's why. And I guess the several boat trips made me tired, too.

hehehe... I'm not really an energetic person.

But I got to say, the trip was so fun!!! There was simply too many beautiful places around to appreciate.

half-true, half lie

it's the truth and it's a lie.

doing something takes your mind off that somebody.

he came in a whiff and flipped your world halfway back and left you hanging. he knocked on your heart and made you wonder who he is. he smiles.

you are cynical, skeptic, surprised. nobody has dared to knock on your heart so loudly. you slam the doors on his face. you frowned.

he did not come back anymore.

you felt safe. you were relieved. you said, "that should do it" with a smug smile on your face.

it was months, you've forgotten. everything was silent.

for a while.

time came and found yourself throwing stones on his windows softly. the air outside, it was windy. everything was not at its proper place that time.

he was lonely. he was far from home. he wanted you but did not want to approach you. he was not knocking on your doors again.

the wind was starting to die down. the fire was kindling on the hearth again. you felt unburdened. you felt freer. time was on you side. fate was in your hands. love was coming back, giving you one more chance.

he had heard your stones in his windows. he was confused with your actions. he opened them a little, asking what you were doing. he'd be damned if you slammed another door at him.

you smiled and said it was alright. you weren't going to burn him. the fire was looking lonely with only you in front of it.

he was chilling. he wanted to come to you, wanted to have a place in the hearth. you invited him in. he took you on your offer and laughed with you. he took one step forward, you smiled at him.
he was encouraged and dared to take it one more step forward. you stopped him.

he got confused. you were sending mixed signals and did not know quite what to follow. you just stared at him, knowing not what to do. you've never been there but you were willing to go.

you made a wrong move. you tottered and stumbled. he got angry with you. he walked away.

you called him and apologized. you were sorry you haven't told him. you did not want him to raise his hopes so high. he did not want to wait. he asked you once again. you did not know what to say. and you turned the other way.

he left without saying anything. you waited for him to come back. but he did not.

you were left in that horrible place where you've fallen. you were scared and terrifying thoughts crossed your mind. you kept right on thinking until you could see him before you.

the next morning, you had resolved your inner conflict. you have decided. he will come back if he wants you bad enough, you thought. you lifted yourself off the ground and dusted your clothes. you walked away from that place and did not look back. yet on your mind were a thousand possibilities roaming had you only opened your heart the first time.

it was all half-true, half-lie.

books i'd love to read

i just found a copy of charles dickens' "david copperfield" at the national bookstore and they only have one copy. jeez... it's really hard to find a copy of that book. i've been looking for that but everytime i see a copy, i do not have money or my money have just been spent.

i also found a copy of "gone with the wind" and it sequel "scarlett" and jeez.... right now, i can't afford it. it's expensive at the bookstore where i found it.

i also saw a copy of "cyrano de bergerac" by edmund rostandt at the national bookstore and there are only a few copies left. oh my, it's really bad timing.

i want to buy so many classics including "against the wind" and " the diary of anne frank" but maybe someday when i'm not at school anymore when i don't have to use all of my money for school things.

hope i find them all. i've been looking for all of them since i have read a part of "david copperfield" when i was in grade four.