half-true, half lie

it's the truth and it's a lie.

doing something takes your mind off that somebody.

he came in a whiff and flipped your world halfway back and left you hanging. he knocked on your heart and made you wonder who he is. he smiles.

you are cynical, skeptic, surprised. nobody has dared to knock on your heart so loudly. you slam the doors on his face. you frowned.

he did not come back anymore.

you felt safe. you were relieved. you said, "that should do it" with a smug smile on your face.

it was months, you've forgotten. everything was silent.

for a while.

time came and found yourself throwing stones on his windows softly. the air outside, it was windy. everything was not at its proper place that time.

he was lonely. he was far from home. he wanted you but did not want to approach you. he was not knocking on your doors again.

the wind was starting to die down. the fire was kindling on the hearth again. you felt unburdened. you felt freer. time was on you side. fate was in your hands. love was coming back, giving you one more chance.

he had heard your stones in his windows. he was confused with your actions. he opened them a little, asking what you were doing. he'd be damned if you slammed another door at him.

you smiled and said it was alright. you weren't going to burn him. the fire was looking lonely with only you in front of it.

he was chilling. he wanted to come to you, wanted to have a place in the hearth. you invited him in. he took you on your offer and laughed with you. he took one step forward, you smiled at him.
he was encouraged and dared to take it one more step forward. you stopped him.

he got confused. you were sending mixed signals and did not know quite what to follow. you just stared at him, knowing not what to do. you've never been there but you were willing to go.

you made a wrong move. you tottered and stumbled. he got angry with you. he walked away.

you called him and apologized. you were sorry you haven't told him. you did not want him to raise his hopes so high. he did not want to wait. he asked you once again. you did not know what to say. and you turned the other way.

he left without saying anything. you waited for him to come back. but he did not.

you were left in that horrible place where you've fallen. you were scared and terrifying thoughts crossed your mind. you kept right on thinking until you could see him before you.

the next morning, you had resolved your inner conflict. you have decided. he will come back if he wants you bad enough, you thought. you lifted yourself off the ground and dusted your clothes. you walked away from that place and did not look back. yet on your mind were a thousand possibilities roaming had you only opened your heart the first time.

it was all half-true, half-lie.

books i'd love to read

i just found a copy of charles dickens' "david copperfield" at the national bookstore and they only have one copy. jeez... it's really hard to find a copy of that book. i've been looking for that but everytime i see a copy, i do not have money or my money have just been spent.

i also found a copy of "gone with the wind" and it sequel "scarlett" and jeez.... right now, i can't afford it. it's expensive at the bookstore where i found it.

i also saw a copy of "cyrano de bergerac" by edmund rostandt at the national bookstore and there are only a few copies left. oh my, it's really bad timing.

i want to buy so many classics including "against the wind" and " the diary of anne frank" but maybe someday when i'm not at school anymore when i don't have to use all of my money for school things.

hope i find them all. i've been looking for all of them since i have read a part of "david copperfield" when i was in grade four.